His Heart's Desire Read online

  She decided to stop thinking about it before she went too far down the road of regrets, knowing it would only serve to upset her again. What was done was done, and all she could do from here was pick up the pieces and move forward.

  She had no idea if the amazing man sitting before her would ever want her as anything more than a friend. She did know that she would never pursue anything more between them until she put her life back in order. That very moment, she mentally made a vow to herself to do exactly that.

  Just then, Ethan looked up from his work and gave her a gorgeous smile. “Hey, how long have you been standing there?”

  Becca cleared her throat as she felt a bit of heat rising in her cheeks. “Not long,” she lied, hoping the embarrassment she felt at her perusal of his masculinity didn't show on her face. She took a couple of steps inside the office. “Um...I was thinking I should probably be heading home.”

  In all honesty, she didn't really want to leave, but Ethan had done more than enough for her already. If she was going to put the pieces of her life back together, she needed to start standing on her own two feet. And what better time to begin than now?

  “I'll come with you. Let me get a jacket, and I'll follow you in my car.” He pushed his chair back from the desk and started to get up. “Maybe we can hang out together this afternoon.”

  Becca put a hand up to stop him. “You don't have to do that, Ethan.”

  He looked at her with that care and concern in his eyes that never failed to make her heart melt. “No, I don't have to. I want to,” he countered, his tone serious. “Unless, of course, you'd rather be alone.”

  “It's not that I don't want to spend time with you,” she reassured him. “I just have a lot of thinking to do about my life.”

  “Sounds pretty intense.”

  Becca sighed. “Yeah, I guess it is. While I was getting dressed, I was thinking that maybe I should call for an appointment with the counselor at the women's clinic.” She shrugged. “Maybe it's time I get a little professional help to put things back on track.”

  “I think that's a great idea.” He cleared his throat. “Um, you mentioning the women's clinic reminded me of something that's been bothering me since last night. It just didn't quite seem like the right time to bring it up.”

  “What's that?”

  Ethan sighed deeply. “I guess I should just spit it out.” His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard before his intense green eyes bored straight into hers. “Did Jay use protection?”

  The question hit her like a ton of bricks. It was something she knew she'd have to face at some point, but she had been trying not to think about it. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she shook her head. “I know I should have insisted, but everything happened so fast.”

  Ethan got up and rounded his desk. He took Becca's hand and pulled her into a gentle embrace.

  Her arms automatically wrapped around his waist, and she rested her head on his shoulder. “What am I going to do if...?” She was unable to finish the thought.

  “Shh...” he said soothingly while caressing her back. “Let's not borrow trouble by thinking about what ifs. Make an appointment at the clinic and get tested first.”

  She nodded in agreement. “All right.”

  “And remember, I meant what I said about being here for you no matter what,” Ethan added softly. His mouth was so close that his warm breath tickled her ear, sending a shiver through her body.

  Ethan must have felt the tremor, because he wrapped her more tightly in his arms and rubbed her shoulders. “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “A little.” She seemed to be making a habit out of lying.

  “Well, if you're going outside, you should wear a sweater. The air is a little nippy this morning after all that rain we had last night.” He pulled back to give her a questioning look. “You weren't wearing one last night. Did you leave it in your car? I can go out and get it for you.”

  “No, it's not in my car.” Her eyes, filled with regret, dropped to Ethan's chest. “I left it at Jay's apartment. It was my mom's favorite too, that pretty white cashmere one with the little embroidered flowers that you gave her for Christmas. Wearing it made me feel closer to her.”

  Ethan seemed taken aback, but his lips curved into a pleased smile. “That was her favorite?”

  Becca nodded, as a smaller answering smile touched her own mouth and faded again quickly. The fingers of her right hand circled her left wrist, and she sighed before continuing. “If leaving the sweater behind wasn't bad enough, I think I may have lost the charm bracelet you gave me at his apartment too. I guess that was yet another stupid thing I did last night.”

  Ethan lifted her chin to look her in the eye again. “I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but don't be so hard on yourself.”

  “I'm sorry. I just can't believe I lost two things that meant so much to me. On second thought, make that three.” She bit her bottom lip and blinked furiously, willing herself not to cry again. “I know the one is gone forever, but God only knows what he's done with my other things. I'll probably never get them back either.”

  Ethan gave her a little squeeze with the arm that still circled her waist. “Don't worry. We'll figure something out. I promise. In the meantime, you need to go home and get some more rest. You can borrow one of my jackets to keep you warm.”

  As he released her and walked to the hall closet outside his office, Becca missed his touch already. He returned only seconds later with a brown leather bomber jacket, which he held out while she placed her arms in the sleeves. She was practically swimming in it, but she didn't care one bit. Ethan's masculine scent clung to the garment, making her feel nearly as comforted as being wrapped in his arms.

  He turned her around and zipped the jacket for her, his hand pausing as the zipper reached the top. His eyes seemed to lock onto her mouth, and for a brief moment, Becca thought he might kiss her.

  Then his hand dropped to his side, and he let out a long breath as though he had been holding it. “Call me when you get home to let me know you're safe,” he admonished in a husky tone.

  “I will.” Her feet didn't seem to want to move, but she forced herself toward the front door, one leaden step at a time. As she opened it, she turned to look over her shoulder at him one more time. “Thank you again for everything, Ethan. You really are the best friend I've ever had.”

  With that, she strode out onto the porch, quickly closing the door behind her, not giving him a chance to respond. She couldn't trust herself not to run back into his arms and plant on his lips the kiss that she had foolishly thought he was about to give her minutes before. She simply could not allow that to happen unless she was sure he felt the same way.

  Ethan walked to the window. “You're welcome,” he said softly, his breath fogging the glass as he watched Becca's retreating form traverse the sidewalk to her car and drive away. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool pane as his unruly brain conjured thoughts of Becca's full mouth looming mere inches away. He'd wanted so badly to close that distance and press his lips to hers. It was only the vow he'd made to himself the night before to give her time to heal that kept him from doing exactly that.

  Buddy's soft, fuzzy head nudged the hand that hung at Ethan's side. Ethan looked down at the playful pooch as he rubbed the dog's head and scratched his ears. “One of these days, Buddy, she's going to be mine. I just need to keep telling myself to be patient for now, right?”

  “Woof.” Buddy answered the rhetorical question, breaking some of Ethan's tension and making him smile.

  “Come on, boy. I need to get back to work so I don't go running after her and make a fool of myself.”

  Ethan headed back to his office with Buddy trotting happily behind him.

  Twenty minutes later, Becca called to say she was home. Although he would have loved to talk with her for hours, Ethan purposely kept the conversation brief so as to not stir up too many lingering feelings. He hung up the phone and returned
to perusing the documents in the folder.

  His pen beat a rapid staccato beat on the desk blotter. Nothing he was reading seemed to make sense. With a huge sigh, he scrubbed a hand down his face and finally gave up on figuring it out. He glanced at the small clock on the corner of his desk. Nearly an hour had gone by since Becca had left, and he hadn't accomplished a thing.

  Ethan swiveled his chair to gaze out the window overlooking the front yard. Everything was still damp, and some of the plants were drooping from last night's storm. His eyes were fixed on the scene outside, through he didn't really see it as he idly twirled a pencil between his fingers. Unable to take his own advice, he couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of Becca being pregnant. For her sake, he prayed she wasn't. He knew what he would do, though, if worst came to worst and she decided to go through with it. He'd offer to marry her and raise the child as his own. Becca deserved all the love and security her mother never had.

  With that issue settled in his mind, his thoughts turned to a more immediate concern–the forgotten sweater and bracelet. It was obvious from the look on Becca's face when she'd told him about them that both meant a great deal to her. Mental images of the lost sweater and bracelet merged with images of Becca last night, broken and distraught. Her words as she recounted Jay's awful betrayal reverberated through his mind. The lying, cheating, manipulative bastard.

  Anger surged through Ethan's body. The pencil in his hand suddenly snapped, bringing him out of his reverie.

  Tossing the broken pieces on his desk, Ethan grabbed the phone and dialed the one person he knew who might be able to give him what he wanted–justice.

  A pleasant female voice answered his call. “Davis Security.”

  “Hi, Anna. This is Ethan Montgomery. May I speak with Todd, please?”

  “Certainly, Mr. Montgomery. Just one moment.”

  Within seconds the jovial voice of his friend came on the line. “Hey, Ethan. How're you doing? You have some more employee background checks for me to run?”

  “Actually, Todd, this isn't a business call.”

  Ethan hesitated a moment before revealing his reason for contacting the investigator. Todd Davis had been Ethan's closest male friend since college, where they'd met at the gym. They hit it off almost immediately, and had been workout buddies ever since. When Todd started his firm, Ethan contracted with him to handle all the security and employee background checks for Pet Emporium. He knew that he could trust Todd to keep his request confidential.

  “Or maybe I should clarify that. This is personal business,” he added.

  “Sounds serious. What's up?” Todd asked in a concerned tone.

  “I want you to see if you can dig up any dirt on a guy named Jay Cavanaugh.”

  “So what'd this guy do to get on your bad side?”

  “Let's just say he hurt a good friend of mine, and I think it's about time someone taught him a lesson.”

  “You hardly ever ask me for anything personal, and never something like this. A little dark for you, isn't it, Ethan?”

  “You don't understand, Todd. This guy really pissed me off,” Ethan ground out through gritted teeth. “I've had a bad feeling about him for months. If I'd had any sense, I would have had you check him out a long time ago.”

  “So you're feeling guilty, and you think what this Jay guy did is somehow your fault.” It was more a statement than a question.

  Todd's astute observation momentarily took Ethan aback. If he was completely honest, he was almost as angry with himself as he was with Jay. He heaved a sigh before answering. “All I know is that if I'd had you check him out before, she might not be in this mess.”

  “She? Hmm... So this is about a woman, huh?”

  “I'm not jealous, if that's what you're thinking,” Ethan replied sharply. “Hell, you ought to know me better than that, Todd.”

  “Hey, easy, man. I was just yanking your chain. This girl, though. Wouldn't happen to be Becca Anderson, would it?”

  “What makes you think that?” Ethan replied hesitantly.

  “C'mon, Ethan. I'm an investigator. Logical, deductive reasoning is my business. I don't think this is about protecting your sister, or you'd have told me up front. And you said friend anyway. Bottom line...you don't have any other female friends you'd go to this much trouble for.” Todd paused to take a breath, then added in an undertone, “Not to mention you've been making pathetic puppy dog eyes at that girl since you met her.”

  “I do not make puppy dog eyes at her!” Ethan shot back.

  “Uh-huh.” Todd grunted skeptically. “You keep telling yourself that. You've barely even dated another woman since Becca came along.”

  “I've been out with other women.”

  Todd scoffed at that comment. “Yeah, maybe dinner or a movie, but when's the last time you slept with one?”

  “I don't know,” Ethan answered irritably. “A year, maybe? You know I don't sleep around anyway, so what's your point?”

  “A year?” Todd's voice went up an octave, and Ethan could imagine his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Todd had always been popular with the ladies, and temperance–at least as far as they were concerned–had never been one of his better virtues. “What are you, some kind of saint?” Now Ethan was sure his friend's eyes were rolling. “You just made my point for me. It's obvious you want Becca in a bad way, so what are you waiting for? Get that girl in your bed and show her what she's been missing.”

  When Ethan didn't answer right away, Todd must have realized his mistake. “Hey, I'm sorry, man. You not putting the moves on her has something to do with this guy you want me to check out, doesn't it?”

  “Yeah,” Ethan answered soberly. He rubbed his temple, feeling a headache coming on. “Believe it or not, I had the woman of my dreams in my bed last night, but after what she'd been through, there's no way I could have seduced her. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.”

  “What happened? He didn't–?”

  “No, but it was nearly as bad.” Leaving out the more personal details of Becca's ordeal, Ethan filled his friend in on how Jay had taken cruel advantage of her vulnerable state to seduce her just so he could win an idiotic bet, and how he had another woman–probably multiple women–on the side.

  Todd whistled through his teeth. “Now that's just cold, man. I'm no Prince Charming like you, Ethan, but I don't hold with guys pulling that kind of shit with a lady. This Jay sounds like a real piece of work.”

  “That he is, my friend. That he is.”

  “Well, I'm behind you one hundred percent. Anything you need, just let me know. Give me a few hours, and I'll see if I can pull up anything on the bastard.”

  “Thanks. I owe you one, buddy.”

  “You don't owe me anything except a promise. If I find something, you can't use it to do anything illegal.”

  “Like I said before, you should know me better than that.”

  Todd chuckled. “OK then, I'll get on this right away. Oh, and Ethan, for what it's worth, I think Becca's a great girl. If I were the settling down type, I might even ask her out myself. But since I'm not,” he was quick to add, “I'll be expecting a wedding invitation.”

  “Yeah, well, I'd like to oblige you there, pal, but it might be a long wait.” Ethan laughed without mirth. “Right now, I think Becca needs me as her friend.”

  “Eeh... I'm a patient man. If I were to lay odds, I'd say something is gonna go down between you two within the next year. Tops. And for Little Ethan's sake, it better be sooner rather than later.” Todd chuckled loudly.

  This time Ethan was the one shaking his head at his friend's joke, but he couldn't help but laugh right along with him.

  Chapter 4

  Three hours later, Ethan sped through the streets of Phoenix in his Corvette, itching for a confrontation with Jay. Less than half an hour ago, Todd had arrived at Ethan's door bearing the information he'd been looking for, leaving him stunned, appalled, and more than ready to have it out with the low-life. Whe
n Todd saw how incensed the news had made his friend, he insisted upon accompanying him to Jay's apartment to keep Ethan out of trouble.

  “Ah, Ethan, could you slow down a little?” In the passenger seat, Todd gripped the dashboard, eyes wide open with a terrorized look on his rich mocha-skinned face. “I'm really not diggin' this whole race-car driver impersonation.”

  Ethan took a deep breath and eased up on the gas pedal. He glanced at Todd out of the corner of his eye in time to see his friend visibly relax.

  “Sorry, man.” Ethan sent an icy glance toward the manila folder laying on the console between them. “That information you found really has my blood boiling.”

  “I get it, Ethan. You feel like tearing this guy apart. But your anger won't do anybody any good if we don't get there in one piece. Not to mention you promised me earlier you wouldn't do anything stupid if I found something on the bastard.”

  “Fine. I'll drive at the speed limit,” Ethan replied with reluctance.

  “We also don't need Jay claiming that we're the bad guys, so swear to me that when we get there, no matter how much you feel like bashing his face in for what he did, you'll stick to our plan.”

  “Todd, you know I'm not a violent man. I've never been in a fight in my life. Unless you count me pushing Tommy Jenkins in kindergarten. But he had it coming for stealing my Twinkie at lunch.” The corner of Ethan's mouth quirked up at the memory.

  “Yeah, well, a Twinkie is one thing, but you've never had a woman who's got you tied up in knots involved before.”

  “I know the plan, Todd. I keep him busy talking while you search the place for Becca's stuff. If that doesn't work, we try a little light blackmail.” Ethan shook his head. “Only you could come up with a term like that, my friend.”

  “Hey, he doesn't know we already fried his ass with what's in that folder, so it's not real blackmail.”

  “Uh-huh,” Ethan replied skeptically.