His Heart's Desire Read online

  Becca still felt uncertain, but she had been reduced to a state of speechlessness and couldn't think of another thing to say to counter her friend's forceful opinion.

  Edna's face softened in empathy, and she patted Becca's cheek. “Take a chance, sweetie. Go on this trip and have fun, no matter what. But if that young man of yours shows up, you tell him once and for all that you're madly in love with him. I'm almost certain that what happens next will be the nicest surprise you've ever had.”

  “Or the biggest disaster,” Becca muttered.

  “Come on. Would a wise old lady like me, who enjoyed almost fifty years of happy marriage, steer you wrong?”

  Becca's lips curled up at the corners of their own volition. “Fine, I'll go,” she said with resignation. “And if Ethan comes with me, I'll try to muster up the courage to tell him how I feel.”

  “That's my girl! Now you get back in there, call that that poor man, and put him out of his misery by telling him, “Yes.”

  In the living room, Becca paced back and forth, wondering for the twentieth time if she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Miss Kitty perched on the arm of the sofa, watching her mistress with a bored stare before laying her head on her paws and drifting off to sleep.

  Becca had picked up the phone twice, only to put it back down again. Letting out a noise of frustration at her own indecision, she finally grabbed the phone and hit the speed dial number for Ethan before she had a chance to change her mind again.

  It rang only twice before Ethan answered. “Hey, gorgeous. I didn't expect to hear back from you until tomorrow.”

  Becca dispensed with their usual pleasantries so she could get right to the point before she lost her nerve. “OK, I'll go,” she said tersely.

  After a brief pause, Ethan replied, “You don't sound very thrilled about it. I was kind of hoping you'd be more excited. I really want to do this for you, Becca, but I don't want you to go unless you really want to. I hope you don't feel like I'm twisting your arm.”

  “No, no. It's not that.”

  “This isn't still about the money, is it?” Ethan asked.

  “No, it's not that either,” Becca reassured.

  “Good, because I insist on spoiling you rotten on this trip, and I don't want to hear a single complaint about it.”

  “I think you already have, and the trip hasn't even started yet.” Becca finally began to relax and seated herself on the couch.

  “Babe, you ain't seen nothin' yet,” Ethan replied with a smile in his voice.

  “Does that mean you're going too?” Becca inquired with a hopeful note in her voice.

  “Um...well...about that,” Ethan said with resignation. “I might have a few loose ends to tie up on this business deal, but I'll see if I can get away and join you for a while.”

  “Oh, of course, you have business to take care of.” Becca couldn't quite disguise the tinge of disappointment in her voice.

  “Something like that.” It wasn't like Ethan to be secretive, and his reticence made her feel suspicious again. “I promise I'll do everything I can to meet you there.”

  “OK then, I guess...maybe it's a date?” she said, laughing nervously.

  “Are you all right, Becca?” Ethan's voice had returned to that of the tender friend. “You seem a little out of sorts. Are you already thinking about the anniversary of–”

  “No, really, I'm fine,” she said. “I just hope you can make it. I don't think I'll have much fun exploring Vegas by myself.”

  “Don't worry, Becca. I'll make sure you're taken care of, and that you won't be alone.”

  Becca's brow creased into a puzzled frown. “I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean, but please don't do anything weird on me, OK?”

  “Like what?”

  “Oh, I don't know. Like hiring one of those beefcake strippers to show me a good time.”

  “Becca Anderson, I thought I knew you. Do you have some secret fantasy involving male strippers that you haven't told me about?” Ethan inquired mischievously.

  “God, no, Ethan!” Thank goodness he couldn't see that she was blushing to her toes. “I said not to do that. You know darn well I'd be mortified.”

  The sound of Ethan's chortling on the other end of the line made Becca realize that she'd neatly set herself up for that one, and now Ethan was just teasing her.

  Once his laughter died down, Ethan continued with wonder in his voice. “You're so different from most women, Becca. I can't think of a girl I know who wouldn't be thrilled to be escorted around town by some hot guy, and here you are cutting off any possibility of that at the pass.”

  “Hey, I'm not immune to hot guys. I just can't help wondering what they're like on the inside. Like whether they have a brain, or if their personality is as beautiful as the wrapping it comes in. I've always dreamed of a special hot guy,” she finished wistfully, thinking of the gorgeous man on the other end of the phone.

  She closed her eyes for a moment and imagined Ethan as a stripper in a show meant only for her.

  Ethan sighed deeply. “Trust me. I promise you'll have the time of your life in Vegas, and maybe all your dreams will come true too.”

  Something in the tone of Ethan's voice made a shiver of delight trail down Becca's spine, as though he'd just touched her in the most intimate way. “I believe you.”

  “So are we still on for Friday?” he asked, his playful mood back.

  “Sure.”

  Chapter 15

  Before he knew it, Friday night had arrived. While Becca made popcorn and poured sodas, Ethan scanned the titles on the huge bookshelves that covered an entire wall of her apartment. If all went as he hoped, one day he would build an entire library room for Becca, dedicated to her passion for books.

  He covertly pulled a couple of particularly racy titles off the shelf. His eyebrows shot up at the sight of a nearly naked couple in a passionate embrace on both covers. As he carefully put them back in their places, he grinned at the thought of his sweet Becca reading something that looked so wild. He hoped that this meant she had an active fantasy life and that she would soon be playing out those fantasies with him...and only him.

  Ethan continued to peruse the shelves. Yesterday, he had lit upon a brilliant idea. Her books could be his window to her hopes, dreams, and all her romantic and sexy fantasies. Things he couldn't ask her about without giving himself away.

  “So, Becca,” he called toward the kitchen. “Which one of these books is your favorite?”

  Becca came sauntering through the doorway, nibbling on a handful of popcorn with a confused look on her face. “You're interested in romance novels?” she asked.

  “Sure, why not?”

  “I don't know... Maybe because you're a guy, and most guys think they're stupid.”

  “Didn't we have this conversation...ooh...about a year ago? Breakfast in bed,” he spoke slowly, giving her time to recall. “Ringing any bells yet?”

  Her eyes dropped to the floor, and Ethan thought he detected a slight blush in her cheeks. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “Well then, you'll also remember that I'm not 'most guys.' Second,” he continued while ticking off the reasons on his fingers, “you're an intelligent woman and you read them, so they can't be stupid. Third, you've told me about some of the books you've read before, and I happen to think they sounded intriguing. And fourth, what's wrong with a guy reading a romance novel? Come on, I'm man enough,” he finished while flexing his biceps in his best muscle-man impression.

  Becca smiled shyly and began to giggle. “Nothing, I suppose.” Her smile quickly faded, and her gaze fell again. “I guess I could make a recommendation, as long as you promise not to make fun if you don't like it.”

  Ethan placed a finger under her chin and raised her head until her eyes met his. “You know I wouldn't do that to you, right?”

  After a mere second's hesitation, she nodded again, but now her cheeks definitely turned a very becoming shade of pink. “Yeah, but you might not le
t me live down some of the stuff that's in them.”

  “Ah, yes, the sexy stuff.”

  Ethan hadn't thought her face could turn any redder. He decided to try to lighten the mood to ease her embarrassment, and turned his attention back toward the shelves. “Well, the way I see it, reading a few of these books might give me some insights into the female mind. Help me figure out what kind of things a lady really wants. Maybe even fulfill a fantasy or two.”

  “Oh. OK.”

  When Ethan glanced back at Becca, she had a look on her face like someone had just slapped her. She quickly recovered her composure, leaving him to puzzle over her reaction. As she began pointing out titles and chatting about them, he temporarily set aside his confusion and refocused on her words, not wanting to miss out on a single thing she told him. They conversed pleasantly about her favorite books for several minutes, with him subtly asking questions about why she liked them so much. When they were through, Ethan had a few books to take home with him, and he made special note in his mind of the one she had specifically named as her all-time favorite.

  Becca returned to the kitchen for the snacks. As she filled two glasses with ice and poured the soda, she thought about Ethan's request. She was more than happy to recommend books to him, and was actually impressed that he wanted to try a romance novel, but his comment about fulfilling a woman's fantasy had resurrected images of him and Lindsay in their passionate clinch. Becca knew she had to clear the air about this before the trip to Vegas, but the thought of doing so had her stomach tied up in knots. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her question.

  She gathered up everything and headed back to the living room. Ethan had the movie in the DVD player, and they sat in their usual places, side by side on the sofa, with Miss Kitty curled up, napping, between them. Becca pulled her feet up beneath her, and he casually stretched his legs out, resting his feet on the coffee table. The remote lay next to her on the couch, but she didn't hit the play button. Instead, she stared at the coffee table and took a few deep breaths to prepare herself for what she needed to do.

  “Are you going to start the movie?”

  Ethan's query gave her a start.

  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Um...no,” she said, her voice wavering, “I wanted to talk to you first.”

  Ethan looked concerned. “Sure. What's up?”

  “There's something I need to ask you about, and I don't want you to think I'm being nosy.”

  Ethan smiled and reached across Miss Kitty to place his hand over hers. His touch wreaked havoc on her brain. “We're best friends, Becca. You can ask me anything. I promise I won't think you're nosy.”

  Her gaze dropped to her lap, and her heart pounded as though it was trying to escape from her chest. She took a deep breath and blurted out, “Are you in love with Lindsay?”

  A moment of deafening silence ensued, and Becca risked a peek at Ethan's reaction. His eyes had grown round and his lips parted in a stunned expression. Then he burst out laughing. For the life of her she couldn't figure out what was so funny.

  As his mirth died down, he leaned his head against the back of the sofa and replied, “Becca, I have never been in love with Lindsay.” His face took on a puzzled frown. “What would make you think that?”

  “Well, you're really nice to her.”

  “As my brother so deftly pointed out to me a few days ago, I'm nice to everybody. Too nice sometimes.”

  True, she thought.

  “Not to mention, I had a lot riding on this business deal with her, and I couldn't afford to screw it up by telling her what I really thought.”

  This sounds promising.

  “She came into Milano's one night with some friends,” Becca said. “I overheard some of their conversation. They mentioned you buying an expensive pair of earrings for her birthday, and it sounded like you two were dating again.”

  Ethan shook his head. “You must have misunderstood. I've never bought her earrings. In fact, I don't even know when her birthday is. And aside from sharing meals while discussing business, I haven't taken her out in years.”

  “She also told me at you parents' party that you two were...um...” Becca cleared her throat nervously, unable to finish the thought.

  “That we were what?” No sooner had he asked the question than realization seemed to dawn on him. “Oh my God! She did not say we were sleeping together, did she?”

  “Yeah,” Becca answered sheepishly. “She sort of did. Not to mention that day when I was so upset and you were negotiating the merger at the resort, I called your room when I couldn't reach your cell. She said you were in the shower.”

  Ethan looked stunned. “I remember her answering the phone that day. In fact, I asked her to, because I was in the middle of explaining some very detailed sales projections, not because I was in the shower.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “God, I should have listened to Nathan a long time ago about that woman, but I never thought she would stoop so low. I hope you believe me when I tell you she was lying through her teeth on all counts. I have never slept with her, not even when we dated. We went out to dinner three or four times a few years back, and that was it. I knew right away it wouldn't work between us.”

  Things were definitely looking up. If Lindsay was underhanded enough to lie about all those things, maybe Edna was right, and she somehow engineered the kiss too. “There is one other thing. I probably should have said something sooner, but I was kind of embarrassed to admit it.”

  “What's that?” Ethan asked gently.

  “You know the other day when you missed our lunch date?” She hesitated for a moment, and he nodded. She took another fortifying breath before continuing. “I saw the two of you kissing, and it looked pretty intense.”

  Ethan smiled. “And did you also see me push her off my lap onto the floor?”

  Becca finally felt the burden she'd carried for days begin to lift, leaving her giddy. “You did?” she asked, barely above a whisper, before finally regaining her wits. “I–I mean, no, I didn't see that. I felt like I'd walked in on a private moment, and left immediately.”

  “Oh, Becca, had I known you saw that, I would have explained right away. Nothing happened between me and Lindsay. At least, not from my perspective. She wanted to celebrate signing the contracts with a glass of champagne, but she accidentally spilled it on my shirt and tie. She offered to put them to soak in the bathroom, and when she came back, she threw herself at me. I shoved her away and told her off. She was really pissed, but I think she finally got the message that we are not getting back together.”

  Becca shook her head in dismay. “Now that you've told me the whole story, I feel really silly for thinking what I did about you two.”

  Ethan lifted a finger to her chin and gently turned her to face him. “Hey, don't feel bad. If Lindsay had told me all those lies and I'd seen what you did, I would have thought the same thing. But know that I would never deliberately keep something that important a secret. Except for my one slip-up, we've always been completely honest with each other, and I swear that will never change. Promise me something, though.”

  Becca's gaze locked with his as she asked, “What?”

  “If you ever have questions about something like this again, just ask, all right?”

  Becca nodded and smiled as a complete sense of relief washed over her. Edna had been right about Lindsay after all, so maybe she was right about Ethan's reasons for inviting her on this trip. Excitement bubbled within her at the thought, along with a few butterflies, but if she had found the courage to ask about Lindsay, certainly she could find the courage to tell him she loved him.

  Not far into the movie, Ethan found his mind wandering. He was so glad that he and Becca had cleared the air about Lindsay. Had he known about Lindsay's lies, and that Becca had witnessed the kiss, he would have explained right away. The last thing he wanted was another woman he didn't even have feelings for getting in the way of wooing Becca. The fact t
hat it bothered her seemed to indicate jealousy on her part, which made him ecstatic. She probably had feelings for him too–he hoped.

  A full year of loving her from afar had been utter torture, yet he had loved every minute of it. Nothing could have prepared him for how much deeper his love for her had grown as the days passed by. And his desire for her had seemed to grow proportionately.

  He wouldn't have given up all their friend dates and movie nights for anything in the world, and yet every moment of being with Becca–but not really being with her–was sweet torment. Many times he'd watched a romantic chick-flick like this one with a throw pillow in his lap to hide the evidence of his inability to stop thinking of Becca and himself in the same scenario. When it was his turn to pick the movie, she thought he always favored intense action flicks because he was a guy. It really had more to do with not being able to stand another minute of watching passionate kisses and sexy bedroom encounters without feeling like he was going to go insane.

  The night of the company barbecue had been particularly intense. The minute he'd seen Becca in that dress and shoes, with her hair and makeup done so prettily, he was floating on cloud nine. He'd wanted to sweep her into his arms and kiss her senseless...maybe more if she'd have let him. That night, and on many others, he'd gone home after being with Becca and gotten really friendly with his own hand while hoping against hope that maybe he was affecting her the same way.

  And yet, despite his burning need to kiss her, to taste her, to touch her, to be inside her, lust wasn't the thing that kept him going. It was the pure joy he felt when she walked into a room, the way she could make his heart do flip-flops by curling her sweet lips into a smile, the contentment he felt after talking to her for hours, the way she made him laugh with her good-natured teasing. Those were the things he couldn't live without. Now he was finally going to bring everything full-circle by telling her the truth. His heart swelled as his dreams for next weekend filled his mind.

  As the male lead on screen swept his leading lady into his arms and planted a passionate kiss on her lips, Ethan imagined himself and Becca in the same scenario, except on the balcony of a Las Vegas penthouse. As the two lovers made their way to the bedroom, Ethan's body began to react in its predictable way. Unfortunately, the throw pillows were on at the other end of the couch, effectively preventing him from reaching one without rousing Becca's suspicion. Instead, he put his feet down and crossed one ankle over the opposite knee. He glanced at Becca from the corner of his eye to make sure she hadn't noticed. He needn't have worried. Her eyes were glued to the television, but her hands were rubbing her bare arms that were covered with goosebumps.